The Mad March Hare

The Day of the Mad March Hare has arrived. Up at 6am the porridge hits the microwave topped off with a banana and honey. All set to go and Tom turns up at 7am. We loaded my cHARRYot on to the van with the intention of getting to Dave's for 7.20am. Allen, Andy & Marc are also meeting us there. Tom realised he had forgotten his wallet so we had to rush back to his to pick it up. He’ll do anything to skip a beer round that lad.




We got to Dave’s for 7.30 and the lads were itching to get going. Dave indulges in a quick pre ride refreshment.

A few miles before we get to the event I get a phone call off Simon. He explains that they are going to be a few minutes late. This is because his brother Matt hadn't strapped the bikes onto the car rack securely and they fell off on route. Haha. So we are not even there yet and things are going wrong.

We get to the car park, pay the fee and start to “saddle up”. The weather is chilly so we discuss what to wear, just like a load of women on a night out up the town. We then cycle up to the starting point. A few of the lads sign in and the rest partake in the obligatory portaloo toilet break. You can safely say we were all a bit nervous due to the lack on training because of the poor weather recently.



After Simon & Matt signed in they had a major problem to deal with. Putting there numbers on there bikes. They tackled this the only way they knew how -  “Brian, can you do these for us mate? We don’t know how to do it”
So after simply tying those to there bike’s with the wire provided, we posed for the team photo above and headed off to the starting point.

It's 8.44 am and we are off. We all agreed to go at our own pace so we felt comfortable individually. Before we knew it the group had split up. So this blog will be mainly what I experienced with a few stories thrown in from after we met at the finish.

Marc, Tom & Tim set off at a good pace. Andy and myself just behind them. For the rest of the group I haven’t got a clue lol.

The miles started ticking over nicely until we hit the first “note of climb hill”. 10 miles under our belts and this beast is before us. Down the gears we go as we struggle to conquer this “bad boy”. Andy and I get ¾ of the way up and decide walking the last bit was the only option as my heart was about to explode. I could have the lightest bike in the world but it doesn't help when there is 15 ½ stone sitting on top of it.

At the top we take some water on board and catch our breath. That’s one of the huge hills out the way with another “beast” to tackle around the 40 mile mark, which everyone had been talking about from previous events.

A few more miles pass and Tim joins us. Andy tells us to try keep a steady pace of 15 mph so not to burn ourselves out to quickly. This is quite difficult when you have flats and hills popping up around every corner. But thanks to Andy & Tim having a Garmin computer each, we managed to keep to that speed. We hit the 30 mile mark and I can feel “the pinch” already. Most of our training rides are 30/40 miles, but that is with a stop inbetween. So the legs are starting to burn. We hit some flat country roads and start to chat away, thus taking our minds off what’s in store. 39 miles in us 3 stop for a quick break. This is because Tim looked at his Garmin computer which warned us of the “beast” just under a mile away. Water, flapjack and energy gels devoured whilst we look at the hill on the Garmin. “oh my days” it looked horrible on the graph, let alone what it was going to be like riding up it. Tim's comment was “this is Alps sh@t right here boys”. That didn't fill me with confidence at all. Still no sign of Marc & Tom! We set of to meet our doom.

Turning the corner we were at the bottom. It was that steep I nearly broke my neck trying to see the top. I sped up to get some momentum. That must have helped me out for at least 20 yards. Lol. Before I knew it I was in the bottom gear, standing up with my head over the handle bars breathing like a “chubby man at a disco”. I got so far up and got off to walk. I nearly came off my bike as my legs were wobbling that much and I was clipped into the pedals. Looking back, I saw that Andy had chosen to do the same. But there was SUPER TIM. Battling on, determined not to be beaten by “the Beast”.

“Sod that for a game” walking up it was hard enough.

Further up the hill I could see the event photographer snapping away at the riders who passed him. So in true Brian style, I climbed back on my bike and posed for the photo as if I had rode up the lot. Hahahaha. The road started to flatten out again and head round a slight bend. whats around that bend? The rest of the hill. Same as before, I gave it a go. Half way up I found myself walking yet again. This time having a chat to a fellow cyclist who's derailleur & chain had snapped due to the strain of the climb "bad times".  Maybe walking up wasn't a bad idea after all. His ride was over. Reaching the top of the hill Ifgot back on, knowing that the feed station was within 2 mile.
We make it to the feed station to find Tom & Marc about to leave. they had already been there for 30 minutes so they decided to stay with us whilst we had our break. Cakes, Flapjacks, bananas, and Gator Aid all for the riders to get stuck into. I'm in heaven. Dave turns up as well so we are pretty much together. The only riders that are missing was Allen, the Twins (Simon & Matt) and Simon & his lad. We get as many down our necks as we can whilst talking about the route so far. Big hills was the main topic of conversation! After the much needed break we all headed off together. We said we was going to try stay as a group for the last 35 miles. That lasted for about 5 miles haha. Paul (the organiser) had told us that the second half of the course was harder, with lots of steady hills in there that would hurt the legs even more. He wasn't wrong either. Steady climb after steady climb we hit. I can feel a bit of cramp setting in to my right calf. Not good! Tom and Marc had gone, which left Myself, Tim, Dave & Andy chugging along. before we knew it 20 more miles had passed. I can safely say I'm in a bad place right now. Bottom, legs, back and neck all hurting we hit some more hills. Tim decides to try and make conversation as we are climbing up one. I can recall telling him "not now Tim, I cant breath, let alone have a chat, lol". Fair play to him though, he was pulling me up every hill with encouragement throughout.
I had a missed call of Simon and Matt on my phone but couldn't stop in fear that I wouldn't be able to start again. So i just ignored like a real mate should.  15 minutes later I get a text saying "Hi Bri, I've just come off my bike and the bike is not working. But I'm OK." At that point I felt bad about not ringing him back and was worried about how bad his fall was. So I had to do what any best friend should do. Yes, I carried on.
Tim then tells me we are around 7 mile from finishing. I know that I'm holding him up so I tell him to carry on and I'll see him back at the finish. I'm feeling confident now knowing that 7 miles is what I do every day to work and back. Piece of cake. All I've got to do is follow the signs and I'm there. I'm on my own for the next few miles until I see another event rider in front of me. I see this as a challenge to pass him,  lol. I can get a little competitive even though I'm dying inside. I pass him and say "Hi" as if its just another day out for a spin. lol.

A few more miles pass and I find myself in familiar territory. I'm at a church which we passed towards the beginning of the ride. I look at my poo bike computer and it reads 70 miles. I stop and turn around and that chap I passed was cycling towards me. He also stopped, so I asked him if we was going the right way. He then told me he was just following me. Lol. Oh dear. I was about to get my phone out and activate the Sat Nav app to see where we was. But then a chap cycles straight pass us heading in the direction we was going. I said to the other chap "did he have a race number on his bike?" To which he answered "I think so yes". Well that was good enough for me so I set off in that direction. Following some more of the signs even though I recognised the roads. They headed down a massive hill which was a blessing as my legs were done in. Taking another look down at my really poo bike computer it read 73 miles. We have got to be close now. A few more miles passed and we came to a T junction with a pub on the other side of the road. Now I definitely know we were lost. I was livid with myself. Even more so when I actually opened that Sat Nav app to find we was 10.2 miles away from the finish point. I could have cried. In fact I probably would have if it wasn't for that poor chap following me standing next to me. On telling him the bad news, he got straight on the phone and called a lift, there was no way I was going to get a lift after I've done 74 miles.  Who was I going to call anyway? I just got my head down and cycled as quick as I could. So I followed the Sat Nav app on my phone which is probably what I should have done when we reached that church before. The only problem was the lads back at the finish had obviously realised something was wrong as I hadn't finished yet. They kept phoning & texting me to see where I was, this was interrupting the Sat Nav app so I had to keep taking my glove off to cancel the messages. haha. There worry quickly turned to ribbing though. The Cyclingforharry twitter was getting a bashing thanks to the lads sympathetic tweets about my predicament. These extra 10 miles were going to finish me off for sure. But I was going to finish even if it took me all day. 45 minutes had passed and I only had 1 mile to go. I could see the finish point ahead, even though I was coming at it from a totally different direction from what I should have been. The lads were all looking in the wrong direction so I rode up behind them shouting "74 miles just wasn't long enough for me lads".
Joking apart, I was so relieved that I had finally finished. More to the point I had a free bacon bap to get my gums around. Washed down by a nice cup of coffee. The lads were happy to see me as well. They had nearly an hours worth of gags to fire out at me about my direction skills.
Everyone had finished apart from Big Al and the Twins. A few minutes later Big Al comes rolling in. Fair play to the bloke. He went around at his own pace and so I hear stopping off at a random cafe for a drink and a bite on the way around. lol. My attention quickly turned to the twins. After all I had ignored all there attempts of communication with me. So I phoned up Simon. He answered and went on to tell me that he fell off his bike and the gears started to play up. So they done nothing more than cycle to the nearest train station. Caught the train to the the nearest train staion to the finish and cycled to the finish. lol. Then they loaded there bikes up and met there other pal at a pub where he was at, sank a pint of Guinness then drove home.
So all in all the guys that could finish finally finished and the chaps that had technical difficulties made it to the pub before heading home.
THAT MY FOLKS IS "HOW WE ROLL".
Everyone accounted for we headed off to the pub ourselves. Only managing to sink a pint before we fell a sleep. lol

A HUGE thanks to Cult Racing (Paul &Mel) for putting on a great event.



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