CyclingForHarry: Jim Attracts The Birds

Blog by @jimmyoneball

After a lie-in, I’m thinking to myself ‘what should I do today?’ There’s plenty on the to do list, however, as I’ve been getting increasingly better with my procrastinating recently, it seems I should get on with something else, ah balls to it, we’ll go on a ride.

@jimmyoneball & his belly

Leave me house armed with an iPhone, headphones & bank card (the latter is useless as there’s no money in the account, just adding needless extra weight).

Fancy a nice little trip, stress-free to enjoy my surroundings, with this in my head, made a beeline to the Coventry Road, berk. No idea where to go but Endomondo is on and every few minutes an American woman shouts at me, telling me how I’m getting on. Everything’s seems well & good when at Hatchford Brook, Damn! The bleedin’ Macarena has popped on my shuffle; I must pull over, delete & mention this to nobody, ever. Blast!

Turning right down Damson Parkway, a car has broken down at the junction, easily avoided, first potential incident evaded. As I head further down I remember Kathryn Merry, Olympic bronze medallist lives along here somewhere, wonder if I’ll see her. Along the steady ascent I was presented with a second potential incident, an unfortunate collision that could happen to anybody, anytime. Casually cycling with the Inspiral Carpets now in my ears, an unseen bird decides to unleash its leftover breakfast, blissfully unaware my sleeve had been soiled by this feathered sniper I continued to the small island and took a left towards Solihull, scratching an itch through my sleeve I felt something moist & hard, weird, looked at my fingers and there it was. The little swine, clearly it was more than traffic that could cause me damage today. If I go faster it’ll dry quicker and I can pick it off later.

Bird Poo. haha

The road turns into Yew Tree Lane which has traffic lights in front of the Solihull bypass, no way am I staying on this, full of maniacs. A left turn it is before a sharp right down Marsh Lane should lead me to Solihull easily, Blast! An incompetent clown in a 4x4 sharply stops in front of my and I brake hard into a drain. You fool, what were you thinking? Ah yes, the lady with her shopping dropped something in the road. Marvellous. It’s a fairly easy route into Solihull from here which I somehow get lost, ending up at an island, left for Warwick or straight on to the unknown. I go straight on, damn! It’s a dead end, turning back on myself I head left to Warwick, there’ll be a turning somewhere to head back. Oh no!!! It’s the Solihull bypass. Too many cars come towards & go past me so I feel pressured into staying on this road, the motorway island. Gah! After two failed attempts, found it very easy to cross in the end. Need to man up in these potential life threatening situations.

So onto Knowle, I’ll get into Knowle, take a left at the Wilsons Arms and turn back on myself. Unfortunately, there were tons of great songs coming from this iPhone (with the one exception) so, pre-occupied, I missed the turning, this however was becoming a great little outing so decided to just, keep on going. There are plenty of descents to give that adrenaline rush, flats to let you enjoy the countryside and ascents like this next one, just to wind you up.

It’s a beautiful day, the bike is doing me proud (the left pedal has fallen off in previous weeks, twice) and this long flat straight is perfect for cycling. You can see farm animals, between songs the birds are whistling, the Endomondo girl was still shouting but I felt our relationship was getting better when, out of nowhere, the Herons Nest. Lovely pub on the canal, comes with its little HILL to get right up your wick. No warning to change gears, did they not know I was coming??? Of course not. I didn’t even know I was coming. Even if they did know, I’m not convinced they’d have put a sign up warning of a change in comfort.

This ride is turning out to be a real gem; it’s the longest I’ve done since last July’s London -Brighton journey. It’s not as picturesque as that one but a BIG advantage here is the busyness or lack of. Going from London - Brighton, you’re always surrounded by busyness, naturally as it’s the capital but even when your out of there, there’s so much to concentrate on, cars, lorries, motorbikes, snails, all these will fly past you at great speed but without offering much room so you need to be on your guard, concentration is at a maximum, there’s not much respect for the cyclists in the south, when I reached Brighton I remember feeling more mentally shattered than physically. On a number of occasions, my bike was rocked by the sheer force of these morons driving too close, thinking cyclist’s are a drain on the British roads. Disagree. The only drains on British roads are those that overflow in severe downpours you southern........ Anyway, that’s the main difference for me, here, I’m able to enjoy where I am a lot more here as motorists, not all but most, will wait for an ample opportunity to pass, and it feels safer. Respect. Touch etc

So I’ve still no idea where I’m headed but the Warwick Road has turned into the Birmingham Road making me wonder ‘have I done a u-turn somewhere?’ Decide it would be foolish to think like that and continued. Not far from Baddesley Clinton now, should I head that way? It sounds nice. By the time I’ve processed and answered this question however its half-a-mile the other way, onwards we go. Past Wroxall, Chinn’s Wood. Does the historian Carl Chinn ever visit his namesake? If so, as good a reason as any to avoid it.

Next place I come to is Hatton, known to me for two things Hatton Country Park, a place I’ve never been for the misleading title. And its smells. Good grief Hatton stinks, it reminds me of the morning after a curry. You'll be cycling along, enjoying yourself as you do when suddenly. Bosh! Sniff that you little..... But it's just the usual country stuff. I wonder what the feed their cattle on in Hatton cos that smell is bloody potent. Hatton was the place I played my first game of the day. The old ‘how long can you hold your breath’ game. Well after clocking up 15 miles it wasn’t very long so I sniffed up ALL it had to offer. Swine’s!

Exiting Hatton I saw a sign reading WarwickParkway with a British Rail signature. No way, I looked across and yep, I’d almost made it to Warwick. All of a sudden there was a 2nd wind, followed by a third but I reckon that was from my scrambled eggs earlier. There were no more steady inclines; it was now either flat or descent. Surely it was going to go wrong, there’s going to be a huge hill soon but no, Warwick just wanted me to enter as fast as I possibly could so I duly obliged, whizzing round the final island and hammering the home straight, I was flying, never did I believe that I could go at this speed after this many miles, the round the final bend into……..

Well. It had to happen didn’t it. The steepest hill of the lot. Warwick you rotten so-and-so, save the best til last. Didn’t really bother me though, I’d made it. An unplanned journey with an achievement on the end of it. Huzzah. Thought about cycling back but….. I wouldn’t have made the evenings meeting. Feeling like this, I’ll be lucky if I make it out of bed tomorrow! Train it is.

At the train station, plenty of people staring at me intermittently. At first I couldn’t figure it out then..... I'm a bloke with a 4inch beard, odd socks, a decent road bike, converse trainers, great big beer belly with bird plop on his coat. Suppose its take your pick really at what they’d noticed.

However….

19.67 miles were completed in 1 hr 34 mins.

Birmingham - Warwick … Thank you

J.OneBall